What “Into the Woods” Taught Me About Change

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Hello Brains! This is a vlog style video, I wanted to get a bit more intimate than usual and talk about how I’m doing personally as well as share some things I learned from “Into the Woods” about how to deal with change, loss, and the grief that comes with it. It was really helpful for me, hope it helps you too. ♥️

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Grief vs. Depression: https://www.verywellmind.com/grief-and-depression-1067237

Excerpt from the video:

“When something big changes, there’s this desire to figure out why it happened and whose fault it is, and retracing your steps and their steps and placing blame but the truth is it’s never one person’s fault, it’s always a joint effort

and the fact is no matter how you ended up here, you’re here —

and suddenly the way isn’t clear, the light isn’t good, and none of the paths look familiar.

Suddenly the story you’re in doesn’t make sense.

The narrator is gone.

And you find yourself lost in the woods with no way back to the life you knew.

When this happens, you might be angry — at other people, at yourself, at the woods —

you might try to bargain with them, you might try to pretend everything’s fine and nothing has changed,

you might want to give up and leave the woods entirely.

You might feel like you’re not cut out to handle any of this and have no idea how you’re going to make it through.

That’s grief.

And that’s what I’ve been dealing with.

Accepting that my life isn’t the same anymore has been really challenging for me.

Letting go of what I had, what I would have had.

Starting over when I thought I’d never have to again. Even though I chose to leave, I didn’t choose the reasons I felt I had to.

And dealing with this grief has brought up a lot of past grief, a lot of loss,

my grandparents, my dad, important people that have guided me in the past and aren’t around to anymore.

Sometimes my grief feels like it might be slipping into depression, because I feel useless and there’s a part of me that doesn’t care, that doesn’t see how getting through the woods even matters, because I’ve lost the thread of why I’m even here, what my place is in this story.

A few takeaways that I really love from Into the Woods though were this —

1. No one is alone, and even those who aren’t around anymore can still guide us

2. Even when things don’t go the way we want, we learn things, we gain resources. We’re never really starting over.

3. And when we have no idea where to start and we’re daunted by it all to the point that we’re ready to give up, we can start with the small actions we can take.

The father left alone to raise a child could start with “calm the child.”

I can start with “talk about grief.”

It’s going to take me time to make sense of my life again.

And after the emotional earthquake I’ve gone through I can’t move through the woods as quickly as I’m used to, which is really frustrating.

But there are actions I can take.

It isn’t hopeless.

I can’t have the life I knew, but I can build a new one.

It won’t be the same, but it doesn’t have to be the same to be good.

And while the woods aren’t as friendly a place for me as they used to be, I don’t have to face them alone.

None of us do.

Thank you, Brains.

What “Into the Woods” Taught Me About Change

About me

+61 410 327 824

Queensland, Australia


I'm Stephen de Jager

Product designer

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